First Year Of College + Depression

Like every other teenager I always threatened my parents with "I'm going to move out as soon as I turned 18," well I did. I moved out a couple weeks before my 18th birthday to attend school at Chico State. Chico State is about three and a half hours away from my parent's and I was excited to be so far away from home. I hated having a curfew, and I wanted my independence.

Move in day came and I was very nervous. I had been watching loads of college videos on YouTube and I felt like I knew what to expect. My parents helped me move in and I just couldn't wait for them to leave so I could officially say "I live on my own." As soon as they left a wave of loneliness and sadness swept through me. I was terrified and felt like I made the worst mistake of my life. I fell into a bad depression that year, but I was really good at hiding it from others. It was really difficult to make real friends, and easy to make party friends. I would go out a lot, but as soon as I came home I felt so alone.

I lived with five other girls in a four bedroom apartment style dorm. You can only imagine the craziness. I had my own room, and four of the girls shared a room. It sounds great, but it made things worse for me because the girls who shared a room grew a closer bond.

With time I began to find ways to improve my mental health. I started going to counseling, began making friends and by the end of the year I was starting to feel like myself again.

My first year of college taught me a lot about myself and other, but most importantly it taught me about mental health and it's importance.

Depression is real, depression is scary, your first year away from home is scary, but it's a temporary feeling and things get better. In college you have counselors, you have different events you can go to for free, they have yoga, a gym. All of these are so helpful and necessary for a healthy mind and without a healthy mind you can't give your best, so remember to take care of yourself.

I hope this post helps other's who have been there or currently feel like this to know you're not alone.

My room